Crabby, tired Amelia says . . .

Well, the "old" volunteers have left, leaving a noticable gap. It is funny how hard it was to see them go, how hard to adjust to our new group, people in new rooms, new jobs. I keep thinking I see them or hear their voices, keep thinking to tell them something or how we all can go to La Venta tonight. And then the realization hits and leaves me feeling empty and a little numb, like I have taken too much cold medicine.

We, of course, celebrated their departure in style, "despedidas" (going-away parties) nearly every night for a week. Too many maybe. Too many goodbyes. It will take us all awhile to get back into routines, regain our energy. I new expected it to be so hard to say goodbye.

At the same time, I feel sort of scared. Unprepared for my own departure. Someday, I have to leave. Someday, I have to go back and start over. I feel like I have worked so hard to be where I am, to be comfortable, to be making friends. How can I abandon it?

Yes, I am just doing a bit of moping these days. Not good, I know, but it feels necessary, like crying while chopping onions. I´ll get over it. I always do. We always do, right?