Thursday, August 04, 2005

Crabby, tired Amelia says . . .

Well, the "old" volunteers have left, leaving a noticable gap. It is funny how hard it was to see them go, how hard to adjust to our new group, people in new rooms, new jobs. I keep thinking I see them or hear their voices, keep thinking to tell them something or how we all can go to La Venta tonight. And then the realization hits and leaves me feeling empty and a little numb, like I have taken too much cold medicine.

We, of course, celebrated their departure in style, "despedidas" (going-away parties) nearly every night for a week. Too many maybe. Too many goodbyes. It will take us all awhile to get back into routines, regain our energy. I new expected it to be so hard to say goodbye.

At the same time, I feel sort of scared. Unprepared for my own departure. Someday, I have to leave. Someday, I have to go back and start over. I feel like I have worked so hard to be where I am, to be comfortable, to be making friends. How can I abandon it?

Yes, I am just doing a bit of moping these days. Not good, I know, but it feels necessary, like crying while chopping onions. I´ll get over it. I always do. We always do, right?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been keeping in tune with your posts but haven't yet taken a moment to say hello. Hello!
I think it is a wonderful, beautiful, and difficult choice you've made to commit yourself to this task.
The life you'll leave behind will continue in the hopes and memories of the children whose lives you have touched and improved.
When you come home, you'll leave so much behind, true - but you'll be coming home with so much more. I think that if we leave a place and bring with us the spirit of the people, then there is no need to mourn.
You've given and gained a lot in the past months. Don't fear what you leave behind - you'll find it within yourself always.
I'm excited for your return to the States. All is in flux in Savannah, which is expected.
I hope that your moping turns back to mopping. I love to mop too!

10:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...



12:05 AM  

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